My take on Billa 2

Following up with a post from my friend Rajagopalan's review of the movie, which you can find here:

http://opinionsoftheraja.blogspot.in/2012/07/scarface-meets-godfather-and-other.html

Here's my take on it:

Slight disagreement about the music part, with Raja's review. Yuvan has had better ones. Also, the punch dialogue English translation loses its punch. Can't help that, of course. Just saying. The cinematography is breath-taking, indeed. Especially the scenes in so-called "Boravia" if such a country exists. The guy playing the Russian arms dealer was a perfect fit, except that he didn't "look" Russian.

Also, lot of logic misses. e.g. The scene where the villain calls Ajith on the phone and says that if he doesn't show up, Jasmine would die. Only one problem. He doesn't say where to come, but still the hero being a hero lands up at the right place. And the commandos having Jasmine at gun point, don't waste a single bullet on seeing the hero's envoy.
Showing NSG/army/navy/air-force commandos helpless, with just a shotgun in the hero's hand is a bit unnerving to me.


As for glam, Bruna sizzles indeed. Parvathy (Jasmine) was just wasted!

Looks like the producers wanted another prequel to be made. Probably Billa 3. So many questions still unanswered and more that came up with Billa 2! The song shot like a graphic novel leaves out a lot of detail, showing only certain aspects of the past. The scene where Ajith says "They didn't understand me then, I don't know if they will now" and then his sister saying "Will you never learn?" says there's more to come.

How to enjoy a movie by hook or CROOK!

There’s always the dilemma when watching a movie in the cinemas. First, there’s the want of people to go with and at the same time, the silence at the right moments in the movie. You can never get both. If you take people with you, there’s always going to be a dialogue or two that you missed because your friend sitting next to you uttered something that you, now, don’t even remember. What do you do in these situations? Well, here’s an advice to enjoy the movie, and also have loads of fun with your company.

First, choose a movie that you know is going to be boring. Yes. BORING! Your enjoyment level is inversely proportional to the quality of the plot. The worse the plot, the more you’ll enjoy it. Next, choose friends who like crowds and make a lot of noise. The more shameless ones, the better.

And lastly, if you aren’t paying for the tickets, Super! You’ve got your concoction for a great day out at the cinema.

At this point, you might think that I have gone insane, but give me a chance to reason myself out.

First of all, let me lay out my credentials for giving movie watching advice, especially this kind. This advice/suggestion is based on my experience last week watching the movie “Crook” in a multiplex.

Perhaps many of you have already figured where I’m coming from.

Yes, I watched “Crook”. A movie, from what I’ve heard begs to obtain the same kind of review that “Dabangg” did. What? you ask? The review read something like this: “Dabangg is so ridiculous, so stupid, so pathetic that it is actually good!”. Yes, that’s what it read.

I haven’t watched Dabangg. Who in the right mind would after reading such a review? So, I can’t comment on that but this line would apply very well to “Crook”. Good that it was a company sponsored ticket.

Here’s where I would’ve said “I want 2 ¹/₂ hours of my life back”  but surprisingly, (yes it is surprising to myself) on the contrary, I really enjoyed the time. How you ask?

Here’s how:

First, my company of colleagues all understood the language of the movie, Hindi in this case -  A key ingredient for having a good time. How is that a matter, you ask? Well, you’d be surprised how often people go to the movies without even knowing the language and then complain that the movie was bad.

Second, the movie, to its credit had very good music. Being the crazy fanatics that we are, we enjoyed the music like the Low Class Locals without bothering even a little bit that it was a multiplex. After all, what’s the point of sitting silently in an Air conditioned cinema after paying such a high ticket price and not enjoy the movie thoroughly, however crappy it may be.

However clichéd it may be, I’m still going to say – last but definitely not the least, the movie’s plot itself which is what I want to talk about the most but I don’t want to kill the fun for those who haven’t experienced it.

So, a few scenes only:

The plot is about a guy who is a crook in Bombay (Emraan Hashmi) being sent to down under – Australia after his identity being forged by his God father (Gulshan Grover) who is a Police officer. Yes! can you imagine it? Gulshan Grover plays a good man in this movie which absolutely doesn’t suit him. After Hashmi lands in OZ, meets a fat guy from Gurdaspur who’s there to study in a college on scholarship. For some reason, Hashmi always refers to the fat guy’s town as Hoshiyarpur and the fat guy corrects him every single time. This goes on throughout the movie and once Hashmi actually says it correctly but the fat guy, out of force of habit, trying to correct him, says “Hoshiyarpur”. OK, that was one of the funny scenes so sorry for spoiling the fun.

The plot starts with Hashmi falling for an Indian  girl who had come to pick up the fat guy from Hoshiyarpur but actually picks up Emraan Hashmi instead as he impersonates the fat guy.

Hashmi gets a job as a taxi driver from a Punjabi gang who provide refuge to illegal Indian immigrants and finds them jobs. The funniest bit is that after every sentence that anyone in the gang utters, they all one-by-one say “Fact Hai!”.

Many such small nuances make the movie watchable without which the already crappy movie would’ve just been pathetic.

The plot thickens with the flash-back of the heroine’s brother killing his other sister while trying to abort her pregnancy at a very late stage after finding out that the father of the baby was an Australian.

At the same time there’s the outbreak of Indians getting beaten up by Australians for being of a different colour. I thought this bit was over-exaggerated. They show the fat guy getting beaten up in hospital and the doctor explaining his condition to Emraan Hashmi and the heroine.

For some reason, the whole movie though claiming to be set in OZ, always has American accent spoken by the white people. The worst part was when the Doctor informs about the condition of the heroine’s brother who was attacked by Australians. The Accent is a strong Texan. Throughout the movie, I didn’t notice a single white man/woman speaking the frickking Australian accent.

The climax, which was the culmination of all the emotional drama of the entire movie and supposed to be the most serious turned out to be the funniest scene in the movie.

The Brother of the heroine is disillusioned that his sister was killed not by him trying to abort the baby but by the Australian who got her pregnant. There are such blatant logic FAILS in the movie which makes it watchable because that’s what made it funny.

The brother then kidnaps the Australian man’s sister and tries to kill her the same way his sister had dies – On the table, in order to take revenge. This is the climax scene in which the fat guy is made to dig a grave for her while the brother prepares for the murder. As expected, the hero arrives on time and explains the truth and tries to reason with the brother but he doesn’t understand. The fat guy, in the meanwhile listening to Emraan’s speech gets enlightened and revolts against the brother who keeps ordering him to continue to dig. The fat guy finally loses it and kills the brother with the shovel that he was using to dig.

The kidnapped Australian girl is rescued and the story ends there.

Note:  Pay attention to the small dialogues in which lies a little bit of entertainment in the form of it being so pathetic that it is actually funny.

Wow! I am amazed, I could write so much about such a crappy movie. In one line, a lot of good talent Emraan Hashmi, Neha Sharma (perhaps it’s just me but she looks strikingly similar to Angelina Jolie), the Punjabi gang, the fat guy, the brother – all wasted colossally in this movie.

If you are getting a free ticket and some noisy comment-passing, extrovert friends, go watch this movie. Otherwise, don’t even bother.

So, now you know how to enjoy a day-out at the movies by hook or “Crook”.

Mega Movie Magic

Watched two of the most awaited movies this season: “Kites” & “Shrek: Forever After, The Final chapter 3D” in the cinemas and this is NOT going to be yet another review out there on the Information Superhighway although I’d say this: Don’t miss Shrek 4 and stay away from Kites unless you are the kind who likes melodrama and sad endings.

Notice that it is not a multiplex but a regular single screen, good, old Cinema! that I have mentioned. “Why?” you may ask. Well, here goes…

Kites – I paid Rs.60 for middle class. Shrek - Rs.150 for balcony! Trust me. That’s cheap. Gone are the days of Balcony for Rs. 50. I remember watching “Fanaa” in the balcony for that much. And this is because it was a single screener. No multiplex in Bangalore charges anything less than Rs.150 on a weekend.

My question is if these single screen theatres with far lesser audience and limited number of shows can offer such low ticket prices and still make a profit, why do the multiplexes have to charge such exorbitant prices? You may argue saying that their infrastructure and ambiance is way better and that you get what you pay for. Well, I can counter that by saying even the single screen theatres of today have excellent infrastructure and boast of facilities that can dwarf that offered by multiplexes.



A/C halls, Digital Projection, DTS Surround sound, excellent cushion, push-back seats, good eatables and all this with decently priced tickets. I don’t see a difference. Does anyone? Enlighten me.

Then there’s the question of crowd. What is it? Multiplexes have very decent crowd? Is that what you say? Ask yourself. Do you want to watch a movie with no audience reaction to anything, no whistles, no hoots, no yelling, no screaming, absolutely no enthusiasm. For that, I might as well watch the movie at home. After all, what is cinema for? It is for entertainment and enjoyment and without all the above, it is just a load of BS.

If you are the kind who doesn’t mind paying more for a better experience. Think again. What you are actually doing is inflating the prices and making it unaffordable for us lesser mortals. You aren’t paying more because you are getting more. You are paying more because you can and the multiplex owners understand this very clearly and make humongous profits.

Different rates for different days, different movies and different shows. Different movies – I can understand but the others are just ridiculous!

Lesser prices, more shows, more people. That’s the way to go. Don’t you think? No? Then let me know what you think.